What if the computer didn’t always say no?

I know I have been obsessing over Pleo’s recent Finance and Business Synergy Report, but, guys, I have one last nugget of awesomeness for you.

We are in this together, and it matters exactly because resources are finite

According to the report, 39% of us would rather work with AI than our colleagues.

The number is 48% in Germany, which I have a lot of questions about, including: what’s up Germany? Or is it just that Germany is more honest than the rest of us?

Because I shared this fun statistic with a bunch of friends recently, and they all said, “Oh God. Me too.” And none of those friends were in Germany. So maybe the real number in reality is even higher. Because the reality reflects the fact that not all is love and cupcakes in our offices.

People are tired and tense and relationships can be shallow at best and fraught at worst. And that’s before we get into the dangerous waters of talking about misaligned incentives… rewarding us for not collaborating. Rewarding all sorts of bad behaviour, in fact.

That’s before we get onto the fact that, if we are colleagues, we are all on the same boat in every way… and yet.

Try asking people to act like it and see what happens.

That’s before we talk about the divide and conquer tactics of some leaders… the management practices that still survive in pockets of ‘coopetition’, whereby teams inside the same organisation are made to feel like they are in competition with each other, bringing Lord of the Flies vibes right into your boardroom. And that’s before we talk about the wide-ranging pernicious effects some individuals can have (all on their own but also on top of all of the above) with their backstabbing, rumour-milling and empire building.

But taking a look back at that number from the report, I believe that if we dig a little further, we will quickly find that the number is not about how much starry-eyed hope we all bring into the mix about how AI will do all the things better. Rather, I think it’s an admission that, sometimes, working with colleagues is so hard that we will take the computer itself as a desk buddy in the hope that it may actually say no less often.

What am I talking about?

‘Computer says no’ was a catchphrase first used in a sketch on the TV show Little Britain. In 2004.

It was the default answer of public-facing customer service representatives who were deeply unwilling to even contemplate being helpful and, without even listening to the question that was being asked, they found a way to say no that had no recourse.

The answer is no and it’s not me saying it. It’s the abstract power of ‘the computer’. You can’t argue with the computer. And it said no.

‘Computer says no’ has become one of the most popular phrases in Britain because we all have been at the receiving end of its infuriating unhelpfulness. Whether it is because someone is choosing to blindly follow a process, because they are choosing to not reflect on what you are asking, or whether they don’t know any better, the phrase above all captures the deliberately unhelpful attitude towards the person you are fobbing off.

You know the attitude.

Steve from operations… remember Steve? The fictional person from my previous article who keeps hiring new people rather than restructure his team to improve results? He can give you a little demonstration of what this attitude looks like, every time you come back to a budget review and find out that not only did he not meet his cost-cutting targets, but actually he’s hired 30 new people and taken them on an offsite retreat for team building and… what gives.

So yeah.

With colleagues like that, I will take my chances with AI too.

But jokes apart.

What gives?

We are all in this together.

At the planet level.

At the community level.

And yes… inside our organisations.

We are all in this together.

Yes, I know, scarce resources and whatnot. Of course there is competition. Of course there is. I am not stupid. I am not naïve. And I am fairly competitive myself. What I am not is stupid. Before throwing myself into the fray I do pause to ask: is this an antagonistic situation? Most aren’t. Especially when the people you are dealing with are folks you will deal with again. Such as your colleagues.

So the question should be: is this a situation where we can achieve mutual benefit? Most are. So what would you do differently?

Even though we won’t stop being competitive, we can stop being self-destructive. We can stop being stupid about it.

Yes, I am talking about work. And your community. Also the environment. And everything in-between. But honestly, there is a way you can be ambitious, competitive and look after number one and still be mindful of the prisoner’s dilemma ramifications of daily life. We can be self-interested and look after our immediate interests without shutting everyone else down on principle.

Because the computer should most definitely not always say no. In fact, the computer should default to yes. Find me ways to make the thing work in a way that advances mutual benefit. That is the exam question.

So, come to think of it… if we have programmed the computer correctly, it may get to the answer more reliably than Steve. And I would definitely prefer the computer to Steve.

But that doesn’t spare you having to work with Steve. And Janice. And their teams.

And every day it’s all a little bit harder. Every day there is more to do and more complexity because of all the things we didn’t do when we could have done them because we spent so much of our time trying to get back at Janice for being unhelpful and trying to find a way to say no to Steve because he is a menace.

So no wonder people would rather work with AI than each other.

But we still have to work together.

What I am saying is: we have been doing this thing wrong.

Life and work, all of it.

We are in this together. If we work for the same organisation, we do really belong to the same team, and even though we only have so much time, so much budget, so much attention from our bosses… thinking about our piece of it all in terms of binary all or nothing competition gets us to all the wrong places.

We are in this together, and it matters exactly because resources are finite.

I know this is not a revelation.

But it is no less important for being a known fact.

It is no less urgent, just because you’ve heard it before.

So please start trying it on for size. Say it like you mean it.

We are in this together. Even you, Steve.

#LedaWrites

Leda Glyptis is FinTech Futures’ resident thought provocateur – she leads, writes on, lives and breathes transformation and digital disruption.

She is a recovering banker, lapsed academic and long-term resident of the banking ecosystem. 

Leda is also a published author – her first book, Bankers Like Us: Dispatches from an Industry in Transition, is available to order here.

All opinions are her own. You can’t have them – but you are welcome to debate and comment!

Follow Leda on X @LedaGlyptis and LinkedIn.